New Zealand Local Weather Forum
General Category => Members Lounge => Members Stories => Topic started by: gabba on October 20, 2013, 08:27:02 AM
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Hi all
Admin have been tossing around the idea of a "story" thread where we each contribute to the story. Here's how it works.
Someone starts the story off. The next person replies to the previous comment and leaves a comment for the following person to start their idea off - and on it goes. So for example
(person a) On Monday the weather was....
(person b) ...horrible. I was raining cats and...
(person c) ...hamburgers. No one minded too much because the cats ate all the...
(person a) ...mice that came out to eat all the hamburgers. After the mess was cleaned up...
And on it goes. So get your creative hat on. You can fill in as much or as little of the story as you want to - don't be limited to one liners like I've used above, and it doesn't have to be weather related.
Stories will run for around a week, unless it's a particularly exciting story, in which case we will just let it run to a natural completion
I'll start things off:
When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side....
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When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side.... Dam these fancy dress parties and no Taxis late at night she said as she walked across the road to MacDonalds for breakfast...
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When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side.... Dam these fancy dress parties and no Taxis late at night she said as she walked across the road to MacDonalds for breakfast...., but the big Mac was closed.
Angrily she waved her crooked broom at it... and suddenly it lit up showing the restaurant to be full of Leprechauns and white dressed ladies with wings. Goodness she exclaimed, is this broom a magic broom?................
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When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side.... Dam these fancy dress parties and no Taxis late at night she said as she walked across the road to MacDonalds for breakfast...., but the big Mac was closed.
Angrily she waved her crooked broom at it... and suddenly it lit up showing the restaurant to be full of Leprechauns and white dressed ladies with wings. Goodness she exclaimed, is this broom a magic broom?
Unfortuneately the very nice man with the car with the pretty flashing blue lights didn't agree, and asked to her to ......
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When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side.... Dam these fancy dress parties and no Taxis late at night she said as she walked across the road to MacDonalds for breakfast...., but the big Mac was closed.
Angrily she waved her crooked broom at it... and suddenly it lit up showing the restaurant to be full of Leprechauns and white dressed ladies with wings. Goodness she exclaimed, is this broom a magic broom?
Unfortuneately the very nice man with the car with the pretty flashing blue lights didn't agree, and asked to her to come with him to the police station.
She objected & waved her crooked broom at the police man & turned him into a...
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When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side.... Dam these fancy dress parties and no Taxis late at night she said as she walked across the road to MacDonalds for breakfast...., but the big Mac was closed.
Angrily she waved her crooked broom at it... and suddenly it lit up showing the restaurant to be full of Leprechauns and white dressed ladies with wings. Goodness she exclaimed, is this broom a magic broom?
Unfortuneately the very nice man with the car with the pretty flashing blue lights didn't agree, and asked to her to come with him to the police station.
She objected & waved her crooked broom at the police man & turned him into a frog whereupon she kissed him...
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When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side.... Dam these fancy dress parties and no Taxis late at night she said as she walked across the road to MacDonalds for breakfast...., but the big Mac was closed.
Angrily she waved her crooked broom at it... and suddenly it lit up showing the restaurant to be full of Leprechauns and white dressed ladies with wings. Goodness she exclaimed, is this broom a magic broom?
Unfortuneately the very nice man with the car with the pretty flashing blue lights didn't agree, and asked to her to come with him to the police station.
She objected & waved her crooked broom at the police man & turned him into a frog whereupon she kissed him...But that did not change him back to a policeman or even a handsome prince and the poor frog hopped away to frightened to got home with lipstick all over him...
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When walking around a corner the other day, I came across a wizened old lady. She wore an odd pointy hat, was dressed entirely in black with a crooked broom at her side.... Dam these fancy dress parties and no Taxis late at night she said as she walked across the road to MacDonalds for breakfast...., but the big Mac was closed.
Angrily she waved her crooked broom at it... and suddenly it lit up showing the restaurant to be full of Leprechauns and white dressed ladies with wings. Goodness she exclaimed, is this broom a magic broom?
Unfortuneately the very nice man with the car with the pretty flashing blue lights didn't agree, and asked to her to come with him to the police station.
She objected & waved her crooked broom at the police man & turned him into a frog whereupon she kissed him...But that did not change him back to a policeman or even a handsome prince and the poor frog hopped away to frightened to go home with lipstick all over him.
What's that you've got on your collar demands Mrs frog (known as Connie to her friends), is that lipstick?...........
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The Policeman could not believe his eyes. His poor wife had also been turned into a frog. They needed to find a way to reverse the spell so they turned to the yellow pages….
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...sadly though, they opened the yellow pages right next to an open window, and a gust of wind blew through the window, slowly turning the yellow pages over and eventually heaving the entire weight of the book onto both of them.
The wizened old lady, meanwhile was in McDonalds, not eating a burger or chips as you would expect, but tucking into raw...
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... prawns
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Which she knows she should not eat because she has an Allergic reaction which turns her into...........
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…a blotchy mess. Oh well thinks the old lady, cant be worse than this hang over that is starting to kick in from last night's party.
She steps out onto the roadside looking left and right for an early morning taxi when……..
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She is crash tackled to the ground by Mr Policeman frog & Mrs frog (aka Connie) after they had managed to escape from under the yellow pages & made their way into town to find her.
"Quick they demand", turn us back into our selves before the sun rises and...
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They forgot that daylight savings had started and time was really running out on them to be changed back to their original selves.No said the old lady I will not change you back until you...
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..... find out the name of that handsome young man I spent 10 minutes on the couch with at the fancy dress party.
Is that all said Mr frog pulling out his police issue Ipad. We have cameras feeding into the internet everywhere which are being monitored by whisper, whisper, a bloke named Mr Lock is in charge. I'll have a picture of him in a few seconds......
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....... here he is, he was the lead singer of the band.
(http://nzpws.net/nzwn/reports/lb.jpg)
Now will you change us back.........
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OK she said, but then realised she no longer has the crooked broom in her hand. Damm it she said, I left it in the toilet cubicle at McDonalds, we'll have to go back to get it.....
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And it was there that they met Kim Dotcom- his animated face beaming at them.
"I can feel your pain," the Great Man said." I see that you have lost your broom."
He patted the witch on her head.
"You know, he continued, "I would be delighted to underwrite a campaign for you to win back your crooked broom."
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The old lady asked would that underwrite be anonymous or would I have to declare it.....
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Ahh! said Mr .com. You can bank on it. Mums the word........
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"Oh," said the witch."Do you mean that this meeting never took place? It sounds like a novel I once read."
"No, no," muttered Kim Dotcom.
He fiddled with his baseball cap for a moment, before continuing.
"You are confused, because of the strange news items on TV. Remember, we New Zealanders must stick together- that is the Key to the solution."
"But, what about my crooked broom?" asked the witch. "Will I ever recover it?"
"I think so," replied our genial giant. "There is a man called Cameron Slater who lives in a cave on the internet - he may know- people tell him many things."
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........ sounds all a bit complicated said the witch (which you'll remember is the young lady who is not a real witch, but someone who had been to a pre Halloween party the night before). My flatmate makes up... er, I mean, finds stories for Morning Report. I'm sure she can get Geoff to slip in a story about a missing broom which is of interest to the police.
She picks up the phone and dials......
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....Ghostbusters. Believing that "there is something there in her neighbourhood" that may have misplaced her stick. Who else are you gonna call?
"Ghostbusters. Your fear we scare" came the voice on the phone.
"Oh, hi" said the young lady."I seemed to have lost my broom in Mc Donald's "
"Oh yes, we have had a lot of broom vanishments in the last 24 hours. We've traced all of them so far to a single location, where the residents are....
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...residents are highly paid and have their own protection agency."
There was a short pause and then the man continued, clearing his throat, as if he was about to impart something embarrassing.
"The only trouble is, if we get your broom back it may well have been in the hands of a politician."
"Oh no!", cried the witch.
" 'Fraid so," said the Ghostbuster's man. " And you know where that broom is likely to have been, so there would be major hygiene issues."
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... hygene issues???? she shrieked down the phone. You mean they cleaned the toilet with it?? or are you alluding to something oral like using it as a toothpick?
On second thoughts, maybe I don't want to know. Mr Dot Com sent me a photo which was supposed to be of a chap I spent 10 minutes on the couch with at a party. He looks vaguely familiar, but looks more like my granddad than the chap I remember, though I had had more than a few pina coladas by that stage.........
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"Oh migod!" She shrieked.
"In the photograph-that's him- the guy in the news- Ken Black!"
"Yes," said Kim Dotcom. "I meant to tell you, but you were so worried about the crooked broom."
" Hell, that means I am the 'other woman' !"
"I guess so," muttered Kim Dotcom. "I am sorry to suggest this, but I think you should see a doctor."
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So the ‘other woman’ heads off to see her doctor.
“How may I help you “, asks the pretty blonde behind the reception counter.
“I would like to make a ‘Well Woman” appointment please”, said the ‘other woman’. “ It appears I may have misbehaved at a fancy dress party I attended last night”.
“No problem “ said the receptionist, “It sure must have been some ‘affair’ you went to. Please take a seat with the 4 other women over there who are also ‘in a bit of hot water at the moment’ . We see this time and time again where members of bands abuse their ‘power and resources’ to meet their ends."
The ‘other woman’ takes a seat beside the other 4 women.........
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And one of the women looks directly at her.
The 'other woman' decides to sit next to her, slightly away from the rest of the group and strikes up a conversation quietly.
After explaining the truly wierd events of the past 24hrs, and what her options were, the listening woman asked "You did you say Leprechauns didn't you?
Well you know they are prone to partaking in mischief, as they have powers also"
She suggested it may have been one of them which cast the spells without you knowing, not you & your crooked stick after all.
Mmmm, thought the 'other woman', I may have to go & see if I can....
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get "fair go" the tv program to help me.
Just as I was getting ready for the long wait in the waiting room the Doctor called my name out and said you must come in my room quickly as I have some....
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...important information for you. "
The doctor motioned towards a nurse who went into the surgery with them.
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Haven't seen you on set before he said as he stood to let me pass through the doorway. Learning the #&@% lines is the thing I find the hardest and I confess I haven't read the script for the next scene yet so there'll be a fair bit of ad lib dialogue, hope you're up for it. However, Shortland St does pay the bills so break a leg as they say and here we go.............
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A voice to the side says "Take Number one, Lights, camera, ACTION!"......
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Meanwhile the two frogs are still waiting to be returned to their natural state, both wondering how this will all end for them...
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... especially as Mr frog was a policeman and Mrs Frog aka Connie was.... Mrs Frog, a real frog or Connie Francis who disappeared in the 1960's? What would happen to her when the crooked broom was waved at her?
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At last, these and other questions are on the brink of being answered...
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....... but they never were as the alarm clock woke me with a jolt. Hmmm I thought. Maybe that extra tequilla with the blue cheese last night wasn't such a great idea.
(the end)?
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Yep, here endeth the lesson!